So my last 2 entries weren't the happiest of entries but I'm feeling less morbid now. I start a new job on Wends out in Montauk for the summer. I went to check out my summer housing and was...well...underwhelmed. I made it pretty though with some wall hangings, potted plants and lots of candles. I'll post pics when I get them. There is no internet/TV out there so I'll only be on once a week or so. Montauk is a bizarre place. Its doesn't have that icky pretencious (spelling i know) feeling of the Hamptons. Its much slower. Which is good for me. I feel like I can begin new. I can get back into yoga/meditation and hone in on the energy surrounding Montauk. Its like an energy vortex or something. You can feel it swirl around you, its amazing. I live with alot of Spanish people, so maybe I can finally learn to salsa dance this summer ;) I think I'll start up my hemp business again. I can just sit on the beach selling them to surfers. I need to sleep now.

So I'm having problems with death. I am repulsed at the thought of visiting graves. Its just a body down there....a rotton body. I know, I sound really sick, but its what is on my mind. Why visit a dead body when you can stay home and remember the good memories of someone. If anyone reads this and feels offended, I don't mean too make you feel bad. I just can't get this off my mind.

A couple of days ago I was futzing (is that a word?) around on random internet pages. I stumble across a "neo-hippie" quiz and have a fine old time taking it. Just for fun, I kept looking around at this website...it was very rudimentary, made from a template by a 15 yr old girl. Further down on the page was an edit from her mother saying that her daughter died in a car accident at 17 yrs old with two of her friends and that this website wasn't updated since she was 15. She would of been 24 today. Holy crap. I can't even explain the bizarre feeling that came over me. It was like I was reading a memoir from a person who I've never met. I've never experienced a loved one dying. Every relative and friend that I've ever been close to is still alive. I cannot even fathom death. I really don't have anything else to say, I just had to write that down. Great first blog, huh?